It's the first Saturday in May y'all and you know what that means. It's KENTUCKY DERBY DAY and Saratoga is alive with exciting energy. I grew up with some actual values and morals and its very obvious that most of my fellow American's sadly did not. To all you out-of-towners visiting my hometown this weekend; behave yourself and do not treat us like we are a bunch of yahoos, it will not benefit you.
What NOT to do at ANY Bar you frequent this weekend. (I got this one from a bartender who works in a restaurant on Broadway)
- Do not blow your nose at the bar and for the love of god do not leave your tissue for your bartender to contend with. It's disgustingly unsanitary and it's incredibly rude. Don't do it and if you happen to be in the bar on Broadway the bartender will literally hand it back to you and embarrass you in front of your friends. Don't be this kind of customer.
- Your cabdriver is not your limo driver or your personal assistant. Yes, I know you and many others have been indoctrinated by the Kardashian's and other 'reality' television programs but I don't give a crap. You are not famous and not that important and if you want something extra from your cabdriver (just like your bartender) you will tip accordingly. We are not realtors so if you want an apartment to rent in Saratoga this summer you should have been pounding the pavement already.
- Be patient when ordering your drink from the bar this weekend. If its five-deep at the bar (any bar) you will have to wait. Don't be a pain in the arse and be high maintenance and for the love of god know what you want to drink when you are being waited on.
- Have some respect. I don't mind flirting with men and I do pride myself in being a big flirt at times but do not proposition me. It crosses the line. Here is a recent encounter I had with a man in a downtown bar:
Him: You are very attractive and I want to take you home with me. ( I did appreciate his directness)
Me: No. I'm not going anywhere with you.
Him: Let's go out to dinner right now, where would you like to go?
Me: No I'm not going anywhere with you.
Him: I'm married, my wife is out of town for the weekend. Is that going to be a problem for you?
Me: Yes it is. I don't fuck around and I'm Catholic.
Him: What does that have to do with anything. I have a big house on North B-way.
Me: I don't care what you have I am not going anywhere with you.
Don't be a jerk and I won't throw you under the bus. Enjoy your Derby Weekend.